Anxiously Waiting

After having the date of Lionel’s arrival changed since the last ultrasound, we now are unsure what are due date. I don’t know why I am so annoyed by this because due dates aren’t accurate anyways! They can vary by two weeks ahead of the due date estimated or two weeks after but now we are teetering between two dates which are Nov. 26 (Ultrasound) and Dec 9 (Last Menstrual Cycle) which may not be a big difference to some but to me that’s a huge variation. So basically he may decide to arrive anywhere between the third week of November or the fourth week of December… which means I better be prepared! So it’ll be a surprise when he decides to pop out. It’s just plain out frustrating! I notice I like to type with a lot of exclamation marks. I still need to put a bit of finishing touches on his baby wall, which I will now call it but I feel too lazy to do so tonight. Maybe tomorrow I feel like being creative again but for now, it will remain as it shall.

My sphere of a belly is round and why does everyone keep telling me it looks small when I have gained like 50 lbs? I am practically a Walrus. To make matters worst I had to take my license picture over for renewing it which is so unfair since I am overweight at the moment. HELLO, DMV im pregnant! Not to mention the new California ID features an extreme closeup of your face, so my plump face will now adorn my driver’s license for another 5 years, woot woot, NOT. Thanks alot.

Yesterday I thought maybe Leo would come sooner because I was feeling horrible, my stomach was aching like something terrible was spawning inside. I think I have become the master of complaining! So don’t expect this to be a cheerful blog at any means. I felt strong pressure on my pelvic bone or somewhere in that area, I not really medically literate so I am not sure of the correct term … lets just say my privates were hurting. Then further into the evening , the upper-left of my back started to have a very sharp pain that would not allow me to tolerate to lay down for a long period. Shifting positions was excruciating but I was determined to find a comfortable spot, I finally managed to drift off into sleep but I awoke several times because of the pain. I really didn’t have clue what was going on maybe it was just a very long drawn out stomach ache but today I woke up free of any pain.  It reassured me that all was well when I felt Leo kicking normally, but gee, am i going to be on a hell of a ride when labor sets in for me. I can imagine crying and panic and a bit of yelling! I am getting so scared now, you don’t even know…. its like part of me is ready but the other part is isn’t.

RANDOMness: (things you may or may not care about)

1. My goal was to finish this over 730 page long book (Game of Thrones by, George R. R. Martin) before the baby arrived but I finished it in a few weeks and now I am continuing on to the sequel which is over 840 pages long (Clash of Kings by, George R. R. Martin). I really hope to finish this book now by the time Leo arrives because I probably will have little time to read and maybe even get halfway into the third book which will probably be just as lengthy as the first two.
2. Leo needs some pants! He is going to born during the fall/winter but we haven’t bought any soft cotten pants for him yet which is weird. Poor baby will be pantless! Babies are cute with just diapers though :] but he will need some when it starts getting cold and windy.
3. I think the first food that I would to eat after the baby is born is SUSHI! I hope I can some as soon as he’s out …. and gummy bears. Sushi & Gummie Bears for dessert a match made in heaven. LOL.
4. I hope I don’t crave as much chocolate as I do afterwards, because I usually don’t eat as much chocolate as I have these last few months. I think it’s a pregnancy thing.
5. I wonder how long it will take me to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight since I’ve gained so much.
6. On the Tia & Tamara show, Tia said that getting what you crave during pregnancy is like getting a little bit of heaven. I couldn’t have said it better myself.
7. Can you imagine, that I cried when I watched A baby Story on TLC because the babies that were born had to go into intensive care and couldn’t go home with their parents right away. I guess it’s because I can relate now and I imagined how I would have felt if that had happened to me.
8. I think I am bound to reach 170lbs at the end, and I am only 5’1″. A fat midget.
9. Even though I can hardly take care of myself, I can’t wait to take care of little Leo.
10. I’ll be the mom who will stare at her baby for hours on end, admiring their little features… creeper status?
11. I hope I don’t feel like a cow when my milk comes.
12. Whenever I see babies now, on TV or on a print ad all I think is awwwwwwwwwwww… how cute.

Okay im tired of typing nonsense now & back to reading! aka geek mode.

Addicted to My NookColor =[

I downloaded a bunch of pregnancy magazines and few new baby books but my NookColor has no batteries. =[

This is the second NookColor charger that I’ve broken and I’ve just recently ordered a new one but it still has not arrived in the mail. I’ve been so anxious to receive it since the beginning of this week because my eBay said the estimated arrival date would be on Monday or Tuesday but I guess that’s why it’s called an estimate… I also downloaded nearly 110 books to read based on reviews on barnes and noble or amazon but they’re just sitting pretty on my computer’s hard-drive. I could read them on my computer but I really don’t like to, I prefer reading them on my NC, except for the magazines because they look better on a larger display. I realize I am addicted to reading, which is so geek status! I really just want my charger to arrive so I can read in peace, finally! The NookColor is my favorite gift from Alberto that he has gotten me <3, I freaking loveeee it to death and from the moment it arrived in my possession at a Barnes and Noble store on Valentines day. So it’s practically the best gift I ever gotten so far from anyone! I really don’t know why more people don’t own one… maybe because they’re not a nerd like me that likes to read. I am sure I got my love for reading from my parents, who enforced reading outside of school assigned readings at an early age. I remember my dad giving me a hefty chapter book about pirates that was 600 pages long and I had to write summaries and note down any words that I did not understand. My mom also liked to read although she hardly had the time to do so, so she frequently bought books for me from those scholastic book catalogs that they always send home with kids when they are in elementary school. They just always pushed us to read because they thought it made you smarter. I don’t know that if that was necessarily true, I am not at all that smart. Although it did help out when it came to writing essays, for example, sentence structure and vocabulary. I think reading is a great activity for kids to help learn new information and be more creative. Hopefully, Leo will also learn to love to read but maybe not as much as I do. It will be a moment to remember when we read his first book to him. =D

Today I went to Target to add a few items to the baby registry, and I noticed they don’t have a very large baby selection. There were a few cute items here and there but I just wished there was a much larger variety of items. I found a decently priced breast pump which looks totally awkward to use for me, but it was the cheapest one they have as the other brands were insanely expensive. All the baby clothes they had were also very cheesy but at least I got to scan in some cute playsets and jumpers for Leo. My mom was there with me to “help” out but I realized that we had completely opposing tastes. Many times we did not agree on the pattern or some other little miniscule detail, which was annoying at times but hey, I got to deal with it. We definitely were not made to agree, JK. Plus she has this weird notion on the color brown, which I found to be completely absurd! She said that brown makes everyone look ugly and didn’t want me to scan any clothing items that were brown. Alot of those brown clothes were so cute too, she would still pick the uglier version of an outfit rather than the 10x more cuter outfit in brown. It was just plain strange to me but I just laughed it off and scanned away! Whew was I tired after that! I still have to add a few more things to the registry and cut out some items but I’ll save that for a later day.

[[THINGS I’M PRETTY MUCH STILL CLUELESS ON! or worried about.]]

–Um I watched an educational breastfeeding video and it looks like magic how they get that much boobage into a baby’s mouth without it hurting. I am sorry but being a first timer I find breastfeeding so strange and an impossible feat! How do women do it without feeling weird?

–I am afraid that I won’t be able to notice that I am labor or rather that I will go too soon. I don’t want to be frantically rushing to the hospital and worrying everyone around for a false alarm.

–Will I be shocked during delivery? Will I be able to be bond with my baby fresh after delivery? Will I indeed pass out from the mere idea of someone being pushed out of my vagina? How will I react, what if I am nervously laughing or crying the whole time!!!

–How can I stay under control, I get scared pretty easily and giving birth sounds like a whole lot of scary to me.

–What if he’s a she? I might be convinced something went wrong and they switched babies by accident somehow.

–I still don’t think a baby fits down there and you can’t convince me otherwise until I experience it myself.

–Will my boobs stay this big? Because then I can actually have some without plastic surgery.

–I don;t know how I will react when milk starts leaking you know where….

–What if my baby doesn’t like me when he comes out.